Who do you blame if something goes wrong in your career? Your boss or former boss? Your employer or past employer? Colleagues, family members, or the person who recently was hired and either took away your job or the promotion you wanted?
How about if no one is to blame, but someone is responsible? How about if the responsible person is you?
We are a society of blamers. (We all do it.) And even though we criticize others for not taking responsibility for their careers, when it’s our turn and something happens to us, we look outward to assign blame. And who would fault us? The job market has been tough and fear has been rampant. We need to point a finger at someone or something, and in many cases, the finger does not point in our direction.
I am not saying that you should walk around with the world on your shoulders if something in your career goes awry. I am saying to accept what happened, learn from the experience, forgive yourself, make a plan to refocus, and then move on. Time will pass anyway. And how do you want to spend your time? Mad at the world, mad at yourself, or on fire and moving in a positive direction?
So How Do We End The Blame Game? Follow These Steps Below:
1) Recognize What Blame Is Costing You
Sometimes blame feels good. We like to be right and if we are right, then another party has to be wrong. We feel vindicated because we know who hurt us and why they are to blame. The downside to blame is we stay stuck and stagnant which makes us feel worse. When we are wronged, we have a decision to make. Be right (and stuck) or be moving. Living well is always the best revenge.
2) Recognize That You Can Stop Being A Blamer
Blaming can be just as addictive as anything else. The adrenaline and the juice we feel makes us feel alive. But you can stop blame if you want to. Sometimes we continue at habits or thoughts that no longer serve us because we are not sure who we would be without them. Trust that a new you will emerge once you get rid of the blame. Trust that the answers and the direction you seek are there once the cloud of blame has been cleared.
3) Recognize That Without Responsibility There Can Be No Forward Movement
When you accept responsibility for your career, a sense of calm will emerge. No longer will your energies be focused outward but inward on you. You will feel great, motivated, and empowered. Your sense of purpose and direction will reappear. You will enjoy being with you again.
4) Recognize That With A Plan Great Things Happen
Once you are responsible then you can be accountable. You can plan your work, and work your plan. You can open your calendar and put items into it again. You can take your goals and break them into small achievable pieces. You can look towards the future and the future will be brighter. You can move forward and achieve results. You can make plans and expect to reach them. You can be a person who used to be a blamer and one that has become a
goal reaching machine.
So what do you say? You only have one life to live so it might as well be a life you love!
Deborah Brown-Volkman is the President of Surpass Your Dreams, Inc. a career and mentor coaching company that has been delivering a message of motivation, success, and personal fulfilment since 1998. We work with Senior Executives, Vice Presidents, and Managers, who are out of work or overworked. Deborah is the author of “Coach Yourself To A New Career: A Book To Discover Your Ultimate Profession,” that can be found on amazon.com.